I’m finally able to say that my life is perfect. This calm and relaxed mind just feels amazing. These days there are rarely any worries and hardly fears on my mind. Some time ago I couldn‘t hardly imagine experiencing such a condition of great satisfaction and accomplishment. Emotional suffering has disappeared almost completely. Now, I find that I am missing nothing and that I have everything.
In my past I often felt miserable because of trivial things or even without any reason. For example, I was so concerned about my grades that I became very emotional when not receiving the best mark in an exam. While thinking of this kind of bitterness gives me now a smile on my face or even embarrass me as well. I was not starving. I had a home where I was safe. I could afford most things that I wanted and my social relations were alright. On the surface there was nothing wrong in my life.
However I was often choleric, melancholic and usually stressed. As a teenager I was pretty bad at sports and suffered from lack of confidence. Doing well at school and starting to do sports helped me to build more self-esteem. At times I was extremely driven by the aim to excel. This was my way to earn respect and recognition. Although I got decent grades and was not terribly awful as a dancer and gymnast, I regularly had doubts whether I would be able to do well again the next time. Thus I wanted to improve more and more.
Although I am still competitive, I try to focus on myself. I want to be proud of myself for giving my best and not for being better than someone else. I want to be proud of myself for living healthily and being relaxed at any time. I regard a high income as less important now. Fortunately due to some insights and discoveries I was able to change my point of view and mental attitude this way.
In the past I used to struggle when I was studying. I used to pity myself for the pain while doing sports. Nowadays I’m able to enjoy it. At times I even feel some addiction to it in a positive way so that I can easily focus and be highly productive. Before acquiring the knowledge and skills to control my mind like this I had to force myself regularly to step out of my comfort zone. However now I’m starting to live comfortably outside my comfort zone.
I think what helps me most is meditation. Although having been pretty daunted by what I heard about the Vipassana meditation training program, I finally decided to attend a 10-day course. 10 days without communication, 10 days without any contact to the outer world, 10 days which marked a turning point in my life!
Reading psychology topics, I found out tactics and strategies how to trick my mind to be more motivated and productive while meditation trains my mind to be relaxed and happy at the same time. As I became passionate about this theme and to manifest these techniques I decided to start this blog. My dream is that one day other people can benefit from my experience and insights. I hope that I can make a small contribution to a more peaceful and happy world.
This first article is rather biographic and a teaser for my future work. Further blog posts that I plan will be primarily related to willpower, stress-free productivity, mental health and happiness. Please leave a comment if there are any topics which you like me to write about.